"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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