it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize