so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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