I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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