I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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