Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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