My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My breasts were aching with rage.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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