Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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