Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize