I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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