I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
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I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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