Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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