cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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