Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize