she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
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I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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