I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm at about main and main street
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize