as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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