i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize