Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
