People in love make me want to vomit
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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