But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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