I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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