I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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