need another drink. this is the easiest way
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
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woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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