Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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