Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this beer tastes like vomit already
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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