She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize