How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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