That's when you crack a 10am beer
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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