i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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