News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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