he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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