You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
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You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
A bitchslap is in order.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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