C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize