i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize