4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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