Everything about him screamed your future.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize