but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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