Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
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So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
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Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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