he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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