Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize