i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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