We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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