And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize