That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize