I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize