we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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