fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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