Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize