puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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