I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize